Honest Faith

“In the morning I will order my prayer to Thee and eagerly watch.” Psalm 5:3

Something I love about the Christian life is that it is an honest life. While, as believers, we are the recipients of beautiful promises from God, there are still mysteries about His nature with which I wrestle. I don’t get the sense that God is annoyed with my honest questions. In fact, I think He delights in answering my questions in unexpected ways. Honesty is always o.k. as long as it is accompanied by respect. I’m glad God doesn’t distance Himself from me when I have questions and He always knows where exactly the ‘end of my emotional rope lies.’ Sometimes there is a string of seemingly unanswered prayers. It feels like in some ways I have steeled myself against the hurt of having things go the opposite way than what I had hoped. It worries me a bit. I worry that I will get myself into a self-protective mode and I will totally miss God’s blessings when they come because I’m not looking for them. Do you ever feel the same way?

God has shown Himself to be trustworthy because I have seen Him create incredible beauty from the soil of disappointment. Lord, help me not to go into a protective cocoon when life hurts me. Instead help me to ‘eagerly watch’ for your answers. In expectant faith, I know that the heart that grieves will also be the same heart that exuberantly rejoices over the answers to prayer that my human eyes can’t see now, but the eyes of faith know are just on the horizon. Lord. life up my eyes to eagerly watch.

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